Archive for the ‘Nevuah / Prophecy’ Category

Bechirah Chofshit, Unspellbound

October 31, 2006

I dreamt.

A witch was carrying me like a mother bird [1] in her arms, flying through the air, taking me someplace. She was trying to lull me to sleep with the peacefulness of the flight. But, I only pretended to fall asleep as she carried me to some mysterious place – to see where she was taking me and to see what her intention was.

When she thought I was asleep, she entered a big mansion of a house [2] and deposited me on a bed in an upstairs bedroom. It was daylight outside. She was going to steal a drop of my blood [3] via a finger pinprick while I slept unaware (she thought)! Like hell! I thought.

I stopped pretending to be asleep and asked her what she was doing. “Oh,” she said, discombobulated by my sudden wakefulness, “I just want a little drop of blood,” she faltered. “For tests,” she lied. I knew what she was really thinking. She thought that by getting a drop of my blood, she could bind [4], control and put spells on me.

“No,” I said, “I’m not going to give you a drop of blood.”

She dropped her friendly facade and told me to get out of the house since I wouldn’t give her any of my blood. She didn’t think I’d make it back safely to civilization, as she had astrally flown me through the air to the magical place. Walking, the monsters outside on the house grounds would get me, she thought with unfounded certainty.

Ha! I made it back. And the only creature who dared approach me as I walked back to civilization fled from me when I made a snarling face at it.

There’s a Jewitch on the loose! was the news I heard flying through town, when the witch realized I hadn’t been “taken care of” by the estate’s guard monsters.

I woke up.


[1] Tzaftzaf צפצף can be interpreted to mean “chirp like a bird” and in the context of meditation, has been likened to the forbidden practice of necromancy (Meditation & The Bible, R’ Aryeh Kaplan) . In other words, through “repetition” of some sound or action, the witch sought to cast a sleep spell. צפצף is also related to prophetic vision and tzofeh צופה, meaning “seer”. The midrash and Talmud speak of a person near death whose soul “presses” (tzaftzaf) to leave the body and ascend. Redemption is also written to “break forth” (tzaftzaf, Shir Hashirim Rabbah on 6:10).

[2] Pharaoh comes from the word per-aä, which literally means the big house, i.e. the palace.

[3] The witch in this dream, who initially acted “motherly” but ended up wanting to steal a drop of blood, represents the epitome of galut (spiritual exile). R’ Yitzchak Ginsburgh teaches: “The blood relates to the sefirah of binah, the mother-principle–‘the mother gives her child the red [the blood].’ The final and most extended exile, that exile referred to by the prophet as ‘the sick exile is the exile of Edom’, from the word ‘red’ (adom) and ‘blood’ (dam).” In other words, a true “mother” gives her blood to her children, she does not take blood from them.

[4] She was trying to bind my lifeforce to her will through a drop of blood. This may be one reason why Torah law forbids tatoos.


The Essence Of Teshuvah In The House Of David

October 30, 2006

Tzedek, tzedek we have pursued … Devarim 16:20

In my previous entry, I wrote:

In the first dream “half” in the karmelis, the deathly-white spider was ripped in half. In this dream “half”, in our private domain, the “baby”, where the value of baby in hebrew is equivalent to “the shadow of death” [1], irretrievably disappears. Consequently, the two “halves” of the dream represent a progression whereby “death is removed” from our experience together.

The hebrew word for “half” is חץ, from the root חצץ, meaning to “separate” and “walling off”.

This morning’s dream ח-לום was split into halves [2] צ-צ. The first half of the dream was likewise internally split in half by the presence of a thin “dividing wall” which protectively [3] “walled off” ח-ומה the space of the karmelis (where we were) from the reshut harabim (where others were). So, here I have a “halves within halves” – like a holograph containing the essence of the idea of “two halves”.

In kabbalah, we come across the idea of “halves” in analyses of the letter shin. With a gematria of 300, the letter shin represents 300 arrows, where in battle with Pharaoh Necoh [4], one “sharpened arrow” (חץ שנון) killed King Yoshiyahu, a righteous mashiach from the House of David.

From this data, we can see that the idea of “half” is connected and pivotal to the House of David and to mashiach ben David. In other words, one must pass the test of the splitting the shin to survive as an anointed one of the House of David. Moreover, splitting the shin into “halves” is the critical assay regarding fitness with respect to the transition from ben Yosef (Yesod) to ben David (Malchut). In other words, if the “halving” is successful, mashiach ben David from the House of David lives. If not, he dies.

In my dream, the shadow of death (in the baby symbolism) is dealt death forever (irretrievably). Not my bashert, who lives.


[1] The gematria of baby תינוק is 566, the same gematria as “shadow of death” צלמות (Tehilim 23:4).

[2] Tzedek elyon and tzedek tachton (Sha’are Orah, R’ Yosef Gikatilla); and the “bodies” of tzadik and tzedeket in the Presence of the Shechinah.

[3] See Chozeret B’Teshuvah (fn. 3) regarding chemah/chomah and davah/hod. The dream immediately followed anger arising from being within a public place.

[4] R’ Yitzchak Ginsburgh, The Hebrew Letters, on the letter shin (p. 320)

Nesi’at Hafachim

October 30, 2006

Dealing Death To The Shadow Of Death

There is no reshus harabim in this world, but there will be in the future to come … Resh Lakish

In the next half of the previous dream, my bashert and I were in our private home, a reshut hayachid [1], together. I was washing the dishes in the kitchen sink. He was wandering about the house doing other things.

While I was washing the dishes, a baby old enough to hold a bottle of milk on its own, was sitting in a baby seat on the floor behind me, nursing on a bottle of milk. (I didn’t bottle feed any of my kids in real life.)

My bashert wandered into the kitchen. I was finished with the dishes and turned around to see the baby seat overturned, and the “stuff” that had been with the baby (blanket, bottle, etc.) scattered in the corner. The baby had disappeared irretrievably into thin air.

Oh well. We can always make a different baby [2].

In the first dream “half” in the karmelis, the deathly-white spider was ripped in half. In this dream “half”, in our private domain, the “baby”, where the value of baby in hebrew is equivalent to “the shadow of death” [3], irretrievably disappears. Consequently, the two “halves” of the dream represent a progression whereby “death is removed” from our experience together. A progression from reshut harabim to karmelis to reshut hayachid is also evident in the dream. The dream was distinctly separated into two “halves”; the first half having both the reshut harabim and the karmelis in it, and the second half only having the reshut hayachid in it. I’m still thinking about what this detail might mean.


[1] Interestingly, in the previous dream, there was a thin wall which separated the “karmelis” (located on my left) from the community home (located on my right), which in my mind, was a reshut harabim. The idea formed in my mind that it was a reshut harabim. This article helps me to understand why I saw it that way (as a reshut harabim). A detail of my dream which I didn’t mention previously, but which was nevertheless present, is that the main room was open on both ends (Resh Lakish). The main room in the previous dream was mefulash – open at the “up” and “down” (Netzach and Hod, Sefer Yetzirah 1:13) positions in space (relative to me).

[2] kruv, “is from Aramaic and means “as a baby.”

[3] The gematria of baby תינוק is 566, the same gematria as “shadow of death” צלמות (Tehilim 23:4).

Cosmic Rendezvous

October 30, 2006

Part of my dream this morning:

I was with my bashert. I can’t recall seeing his face, but I knew that he was my bashert.

We were in a side storage area off the “main place” where the other people were located in the dream. The storage place was also like an alternative reality [1].

The area was somewhat “secret” in that it wasn’t in a public area. It was more private, separated from, yet adjacent to, the main area. The main area wasn’t our private home. It was more like a community home, making the storage area something of a karmelis [1].

My bashert and I were sneaking some time together there, away from people. But, there was a huge white spider עכביש the color of death [1] in the place. I couldn’t relax, even though the spider was not seemingly “after me”. But, I wasn’t convinced that it wasn’t after me. I kept thinking – if I let it out of my sight, it will jump on me. The thought made me nervous, very nervous. I couldn’t concentrate with it lurking around.

Ok. My bashert grabbed the huge deathly-white spider and tried to flush it down a toilet. But, the spider kept escaping the bowl and jumping out. I just couldn’t deal with a huge deathly-white spider roaming about. I couldn’t concentrate on having a rendezvous with it around.

Ok. My bashert grabbed the spider for the last time and ripped it in half with his bare hands. Then he flushed it down the toilet and out of my world.

Now, I could concentrate on our rendezvous together. Ok, now.


[1] Samhain (sundown October 31 – November 1) marks the time when the veil between worlds is the thinnest. Thus, this dream notes the “adjacent reality” (the karmelis) separated from “primary reality” by a thin wall.

[2] Interestingly, spiders eat each other when grown in the same environment. For this reason, spiders are not “farmed” for mass manufacturing of silk even though a fiber of spider silk can remarkably be stretched 4-6 times its length without breaking. (see link above)

My Date With Satan

October 18, 2006

I had this dream 10-15 years ago.

I was in a burning house. It was completely engulfed in flames, except for the small space where I stood in the center of it. All around me was fire. The house was burning down, with me dwelling in it. I was trapped by fiery flames.

Suddenly, an opening appeared through the flames above me. HaSatan was looking down through the flames directly at me. He was completely red (אדמה תמימה, Bamidbar 19:1) and had two little horns (יי) on his head like the classic Moses sculpture by Michelangelo. Oddly, even though I wasn’t religious at the time, I wasn’t afraid of him at all. He symbolized hope (התקווה) to me – my chance of escaping being burned alive in a burning house. His face was kind. His silent expression elicited in me hope, not hate or fear.

I looked up. He reached down through the flames and plucked me up [Zecharyah 3:1-4] out of the burning house. And then I woke up.

The instrument of Hashem’s deliverance was HaSatan – who would’ve thunk it?

The Battle For Jerusalem

October 18, 2006

Pardes Dressed In Blood

I dreamt.

I was at the shul in town, which in the dream, was both a shul and a house. In reality, it is a former church building.

I was there attending what I thought was going to be a shul service with my “baby” [1]. The other women were in the kitchen, quietly doing dishes and intensely doing things, like one might do for pesach. But, it wasn’t pesach. I wasn’t sure why they were doing what they were doing. It all had a “stepford wives” feel to it – as if they didn’t know why they were doing what they doing either. They were just doing it because that’s what they had been told to do.

The rabbi peeked in a window checking up on them, for the men. Everyone was towing the line. But me. But, I was tolerated and I was just about to learn why.

Outside on the shul grounds sat some kind of contraption one of the men had built. It killed people in gruesome, violent ways – chopping off heads, piercing, smashing, etc. In the wooded area off to one side of the grounds, was a secret place. In the place were magazines about children in adult ways. An opened page showed a baby with adult breasts pasted onto its chest. Ohmygosh! I had to get out of there, fast. I “saw” that a man in the community had built something from “parts” of babies! [2] I was totally freaked out. Everything there was bloody in my eyes now.

I hurried back into the shul-house and picked up my baby sleeping quietly in the bassinet, trying to hide my newfound fear of whatever was going on there. It was dangerous to arouse suspicion that I now “had a clue”. The ritual preparation taking place was not for pesach, but it was for something important. Important, gruesome and terribly gross. Even ignorant of exactly what ritual was about to transpire, I knew it was not good. At all. And my baby was to be the next victim!

I grabbed up my baby and when I got onto the “porch”, I ran for our lives. A man and his wife became alerted as to my escape and came out onto the porch to try and catch me but I was too far gone for them to “retrieve” me. It was at this point that I saw the couple.

It was an elder couple, well respected in the community. I didn’t recognize the forms in the dream though. They didn’t look like anyone I’ve actually met in shul. They were well dressed, grey haired, fit and professional looking. Their appearances were well kept.

When the couple saw that I had irretrievably escaped, the man said in a “commanding” exasperation, “I am going to finish my work!” Apparently, my baby’s “part” would have been the finishing touch on his “work” made of parts cut out of babies. “Yes!” the wife responded, with her back to him as she stood in front as they both watched the path of my escape, “finish it!” But, she hadn’t fully realized what the man had meant by saying it.

The man, standing behind his wife, pulled out a knife, pierced her from behind with it, and cut out her heart as she stood there in horrified shock before she fell to the floor dead. She had thought “someone else” would be her husband’s victim, as the babies had been. She had been a passive participant in her husband’s “work”.

The act on the man’s part reminds me of a movie I once saw about Jack the Ripper, where near the end of it, a man ritually cuts out a woman’s heart as part of some Masonic ritual [3]. The man’s act was like that. I’ve also read once (in a ritual abuse article) about a Satanic ritual that does the same thing.

I could see that the ends of the blood vessels in the hole where the woman’s heart had been actively came together and formed a “sign”. The sign was similar to a swastika, but it was also a “more evolved” form of a swastika.

The man took the heart he had cut out of his living [4] wife and went to finish his “work” [5]. As he worked in the hidden place, I saw a host of large black bugs the size of large rodents that eat human flesh “arrive” on the shul grounds. The man was doomed. A host of marching dogs materialized too. He was about to be destroyed.

I woke up.

Though I walk through a valley of the shadow of death, I am not harmed … Tehilim 23:4


[1] kruv, “is from Aramaic and means “as a baby.”

[2] The gematria of baby תינוק is 566, the same gematria as “shadow of death” צלמות.

[3] As the poor man murdered in Israel, as described in the link, was descendant of a high-ranking family which helped found the Order of the Knights Templar, this poor female kabbalist is the 6th great grandniece, through my mother’s father, of American founding father and statesman Benjamin Franklin, a freemason. So, they want my pure heart and and would spiritually cut it out of me alive to get it. No wonder I can’t get a decent job and have been economically destroyed over the past decade. I have never supported the liberal line that Jerusalem should be under “international” control. I’m known to be too much of an Israeli at heart in this area. May my poverty shine like a badge of honor in heaven among the angels and into the eyes of Hashem!

[4] not as a burial ritual, the heart was cut out while the oman was alive

[5] The work: “A spokesman for Militi Templi Scotia, the Scottish Knights Templar, admitted to the Sunday Post, ‘We are currently involved in an attempt to remove control of the holy sites of Jerusalem from the Israeli government. We believe they should be administered by the United Nations and are working with the UN and Nato to achieve that goal’.”

Satan & The Tzadik

October 16, 2006

No, I’m not referring to the tzadik Iyov. I’m referring to the tzadik Rabban Gamliel. Jack commented on my other blog regarding my previous entry, Prophecy & The Yetzer Hara:

Perhaps Rabbi Akiva was “peering” at Rabban Gamliel with eyes of envy, or perhaps even with eyes of desire.

The word (tzofeh) connection (in the example discussed) doesn’t go that far to suggest any specific emotive causes on the part of Rabbi Akiva. It only suggests the desired result of the “peering” – to cause spiritual decline. In other words, Rabbi Akiva was being used by the Accuser (like in the Iyov story) to test Rabban Gamliel, whatever Akiva’s personal motivations may have be.

Likely, Rabbi Akiva wasn’t even aware of “peering” prior to his realization and admission statement (as described in the daf) … “I was watching Rabban Gamliel”. In my opinion, this may be the point where Rabbi Akiva realized his “yes man” attitude – as “Rabbi” Akiva was likely awed by “Rabban” Gamliel – was being used as a tool of the Accuser. So, actually, the realization and admission statement made by Rabbi Akiva speak well of his personal integrity and attempt to put an “end” to it. Rabban Gamliel would have been a very likely target for testing by the Accuser – he was a tzadik, head of the Hillel school, and a Nasi of the Great Sanhedrin.

Prophecy & The Yetzer Hara

October 16, 2006

Ben at Daf Notes inquired regarding Sukkah 37 as it pertains to the term tzofeh and prophecy:

The Mishnah states that Rabbi Akiva said, “Tzofeh hayisi beRabban Gamliel,” I was watching Rabban Gamliel. Why does the Mishnah use the word tzofeh and not the conventional word for sight, roeh? The word tzofeh is often associated with prophecy …

I found this at shemayisrael sedra selections:

The Maharsh”a explains the words “upon noting his beauty his evil inclination took a hold of him and was ready to make him sin to the extent that he would lose his share in the world to come” in a homiletic manner. The evil inclination used his beauty as a tool to make him sin. This can be the intention of the words “Tzofeh rosho latzadik um’va’keish lahamiso” (T’hilim 37:32). The evil inclination is the “rosho.” He peers at the righteousness, the beauty of the tzadik, telling the tzadik to be quite pleased with himself and his righteous actions, to rest on his laurels, and through this he attempts to bring him to his death, to a spiritual downfall.

Perhaps Rabbi Akiva was “peering” at Rabban Gamliel in the same manner that the yetzer hara was “peering” at the tzadik in the above quote – to cause his downfall. Just a thought. Akiva was a rabbi and Gamliel was a rabban. Rabban is a more prestigious title than rabbi, yes?


B’Yad Ram-He

September 30, 2006

B’Hesech HaDa’at, Signs Part 2

In my previous entry, I wrote regarding the physical “sign”, the chatima tova, that occurred throughout my right leg erev rosh hashanah, relating the significance of this experience to the word בשחקים in verse 1 of Sefer HaBahir, which I am currently studying. R’ Aryeh Kaplan, in his commentary on the verse, teaches that בשחקים, traditionally translated as skies, corresponds to the sefirot of Netzach and Hod, pertaining to prophecy and mystical vision, respectively. I correlated the flowing energy of the physical sign to Netzach and prophetic awareness.

Necessarily, given that בשחקים is associated with both Netzach and Hod (justice, justice), I wondered where was evidence of Hod, other than in the capacity “to learn”? Was I – chas v’shalom! – unbalanced?

Well, this morning, as I was resting in my bed before arising, the “mystical vision” of an answer came to me. Suddenly, I “heard” in my mind the reverberating sound like one hears when one strikes the surface of a thin sheet of pliable metal. Immediately following that, the vision came into my mind of a sheet of beaten silver [1] metal. I immediately “knew” that the sound and vision pertained in some manner to Hod, given the reverberating nature of the “sound” in my mind.

In another earlier entry, I had written regarding the word בשחקים:

“in the skies” = “with (laughs of) laughter” = בשחקים

This word from Sefer HaBahir is not from the shoresh shin-chet-kuf שׁחק, meaning “pound to a fine dust”. Rather, it is from the shoresh sin-chet-kuf שׂחק, meaning laughter and overcoming difficulties. They look the same, almost.

Now, it is becoming clearer why I could not relate to the idea that, in Sefer HaBahir, בשחקים referred to the shin-root meaning “pound to a fine dust”, but rather to the sin-root meaning laughter. I am not like “a fine pound dust”. I am more like “pounded metal”.

What is “pound metal” kabbalistically? Dave at Balashon writes regarding asimon:

What’s the origin of the word? Well it originally meant uncoined metal. The first mishna of the fourth chapter of Bava Metzia states that “uncoined metal (אסימון) acquires coined metal (מטבע)”. The gemara (47b) goes on to ask: What IS ASIMON? … According to Klein, the root is the Greek word asemos. A= not, without, and sema = sign, token (as in Hebrew siman and the english semantics.) So while originally the difference between a coin and an asimon was the token had no sign (symbol) at all, it was later used to indicate a token that could not be used as money.

From this, we can see that “pound metal” is metal that has gone from being “without a sign” to being “with a sign”. In other words, it has been transformed from worthless token to redemption money. Bava metzia 47b states:

UNCOINED METAL [ASIMON] ACQUIRES COINED. What IS ASIMON? — Said Rab: Coins that are presented as tokens at the baths. An objection is raised: The second tithe may not be redeemed by asimon, nor by coins that are presented as tokens at the baths; proving that ASIMON is not coins that are presented as tokens at the baths. And should you answer that it is a definition,11 surely the Tanna does not teach thus; [for we learnt:] The second tithe may be redeemed by ‘asimon’, this is R. Dosa’s view. The Sages maintain: It may not. Yet both agree that it may not be redeemed with coins that are presented as tokens at the baths.

Taken together, one could suggest that metal pertains in some manner to “redemption money”. In other words, “unbeaten metal” (one without a sign, a token of uncoined metal, אסימון) is that which cannot fully redeem. On the other hand, “beaten metal” (one with a sign, coined metal like money, מטבע) is that which can fully redeem.

Consequently, my Bahir “learning” (where the ability to learn experientially [2] is a function of Hod) is like beaten-pound metal. It is like “redemption money”, redeeming my nefesh-soul, and capable of initiating redemptive consciousness.This morning’s experience of “sound and sight” (hearing and seeing experientally synthesized into pei [3], expressive learning) was an appropriate “mystical vision” frontside (chazah) of upcoming Yom Kippur.

Moreover, my learning is balanced. Regarding the “beaten silver” symbolism, Yishayahu 46:6, states: “and weigh out silver on the beam [of the balance]”. With respect to verse 1 of Sefer HaBahir, which explicitly mentions the name ר’ נחוניא בן הקנה to whom authorship of Sefer HaBahir is attributed, I can link the word kenah קנה in terms of balance, to the name הקנה HaKana, noting at Balashon, Dave writes:

According to Klein, kaneh קנה has many meanings: stalk, reed, cane, beam of scales, shaft of lampstand, arm of lampstand, length of a reed, and in later Hebrew – windpipe.

One of the interesting meanings is “beam of scales”. In Yechezkel 40:3 we read of וקנה המדה – a “measuring rod” — knei mida has the meaning in modern Hebrew of “criterion” or “scale”.

The “silver beam” is centrally balanced between the right and left “arms” of the scales, like the alef (my chosimah) represents synthesis (Sefer Yetzirah 2:1), the center, the tongue of decree, and the fulcrum of a scale. Importantly, the symbolism here represents the ability to exercise righteous justice (as opposed to exercising unfair-blemished judgment) unswayed by either either pain or pleasure. Seems, Baruch Hashem! my question is answered.


[1] Regarding the symbolism of silver and its relationship to the serpent energy, Dave at Balashon writes: “According to Ibn Ezra and others, serafim is an adjective for the nahashim (snakes). As Rashi explains, they burn שורף – soref – with their venom.” — “The root שרף has a number of related roots … צרף to smelt, to refine, and later to attach, to join and to change money. Klein says that the word literally means ‘to purify by burning.’ From here we get the word tzrif צריף – meaning according to Klein ‘a cone shaped hut’, literally ‘that which is joined together’.” — “Also from צרף we get the English word ‘silver’.”

[2] see Tehiru for the significance of “experiential” redemptive vision

[3] see the hebrew letter “pei” and the “silver”-finger pointer, see silver-finger pointer & Hesech HaDa’at, see yad ramah

[4] see tet ט, choshen mishpat and tikun of the nachash

Signs Of Things To Come

September 29, 2006

Dave at Balashon writes regarding the phrase gmar chatima tova גמר חתימה טובה:

The root גמר also means “to learn”, and from here we get the word Gemara גמרא (also גמרה) … Chatimah is also talmudic and can mean a signature or a sealing (Pessachim 104) … Of course “tova” means good.

Interesting. This has played out for real in my life this New Year.

גמר. I started my study of Sefer HaBahir 10 days prior to Rosh Hashanah (for 10 days of selichot). As of this moment, I have 11 “entries” already on the first verse alone!!!! => my Oral Torah (Gemara), so to speak.

חתימה טובה. Erev Rosh Hashanah, my right leg flowed strongly (such that I became consciously aware of it) with a subtle energy all night long. It felt so good. A few days later, I found out via two sources (one being R’ Aryeh Kaplan’s commentary on Sefer HaBahir) that the word “shechakim” (בשחקים in verse 1 of Sefer HaBahir) pertains kabbalistically to Netzach and Hod, the sefirot signifcant to prophecy and mystical vision. Consequently, the awareness of the energy flowing through my right leg was a prophetic awareness and a physical chatimah tova for the New Year.